DGT#33: The Christmas Dragon

Posted by Master of Drankgons on

What do you mean you have never heard of the Christmas Dragon?! Admittedly, neither had I until I googled "Christmas Dragon" and came across this gem. All I can say is wow. I cannot believe this is actually a movie that was made in 2014. It even won an award: "Best makeup," in the category of "Filmed in Utah" 2015 Awards. Congrats, I think? I didn't even know such a category existed, but apparently the Utah Film Awards is a thing. Here is a description of this illustrious awards program: 
  • The Utah Film Awards competition seeks to discover outstanding work in film and episodic programs. Founded in 2011 as the Filmed in Utah Awards, the Utah Film Awards has evolved from being a program that celebrates local artists to include artists from around the globe. The program focuses on films that rarely have large budgets or celebrities. Instead, the UFAs focus on the craft of filmmaking. We value high-quality cinematography, audio production, performances and, most importantly, story.
Well, now we are talking. They value story! So let's get into the story of the Christmas Dragon to see what all the fuss is about (besides the make up). Here is the plot summary: "A bunch of orphans find some magical crystal and decide to follow it on an adventure to find Father Christmas (who looks just like Santa Claus), restore the lost magic, and save Christmas." So far, so good. Now let's watch the trailer for it. Ok, that doesn't look terrible. In fact, it looks kind of touching. But since I am actually not going to watch this movie, I figured I would rely on someone who actually watched it  to talk about it. Enter "starcraftrpr" from London, England, who gave it 7 stars..
Review of the Christmas Dragon by Starcraftrpr from London, England
"As far as we could tell, none of the kids had personalities that remained constant.The two boys look and act like members of Green Day and the girls appear to have had all personality sand-blasted off and replaced with a happy go lucky attitude. Over the course of the next hour and a half, they meet a collection of actors and scenes which failed to make the final cut in the recent Hobbit movies. We have an Aragorn ripoff with too much eyeliner. A token elf lady straight from the cliché isle and the local fantasy surplus store. And a troll that was actually kidnapped off a New Zealand set.

Additionally, many of the scenes seem to be directly copy-pasted from one or more of the Middle Earth based movies. I stoop up in shock at one of the last scenes in the movie (Spoiler Alert: They meet Father Christmas), where the characters literally copy the exact movement of their lord of the rings counterparts in a scene taken from the two towers. Somewhere down the line they run into a dragon (Giggidy!). To put it lightly, the special effects have much to be desired. The dragon looks... Extremely fake. No seriously. This movie has many practical effects, but the dragon was made by a high school student with half a semester of graphic arts and an addiction to Manga (hahahahah lame). Every time it comes on the screen, it immediately makes you chortle with laughter at it's pure and unadulterated ridiculousness.

That being said, I'm giving this movie a 7/10 because it is legitimately fun to watch with a group of friends. We had an awesome time giving each of the characters nicknames (Can you guess who each of these are? Token Elf, Billy Joel Armstrong, Green Day drummer, Gretchen Wieners, Middle School Romeo, The Band known as Kiss, Bearded muscle, a Less Hot Natalie Dormer, and creepy Jack Sparrow). Additionally, the writing and plot created many opportunities to pause the movie and roll around in uncontrollable merriment. You will definitely find your favorite ridiculous moment. My favorite was the line declared in front of the aged Father Christmas (who by the way looks exactly like a dwarf from the hobbit and has a barely intelligible accent): 'He's not dead, he's just old.'"
This movie... sounds... Amazing! I am going to see if it's on Netflix right now. Even if the dragon looks like a cross between a pterodactyl and Toothless (HTTYD), I can get behind a Christmas Dragon story that is super cheesy. I paid money to see Krampus last year after all (it was actually pretty scary). Also, side note, but what is Manga? Oh, it's a style of Japanese comic books and graphic novels, typically aimed at adults as well as children. Of course. That explains the dragon.
Maybe this can be like the new Labyrinth for kids? They really need a David Bowie character though. Perhaps that's why they didn't win move of the year at the Utah Film Awards. Anyway, looks like it's on Netflix. Time to check it out! Here are some sweet pictures from the movie that I googled for you:


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